


Guilty Conscience

by defuse00



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:13:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28372185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defuse00/pseuds/defuse00
Summary: In any group of friends, there are people who don't interact as much. Madoka knows this is true, that it is some kind of mathematical inevitability(Homura would know what it's called). It isn't her fault if someone doesn't like her.Of course, this doesn't convince her. She tries to be more friendly, more accepting, but Kyouko doesn't treat her any differently. She still picks her words with care and leaves the conversation as soon as she can.It bothers her, sometimes.
Relationships: Kaname Madoka & Sakura Kyouko
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Guilty Conscience

In any group of friends, there are people who don't interact as much. Madoka knows this is true, that it is some kind of mathematical inevitability(Homura would know what it's called). It isn't her fault if someone doesn't like her.

Of course, this doesn't convince her. She tries to be more friendly, more accepting, but Kyouko doesn't treat her any differently. She still picks her words with care and leaves the conversation as soon as she can.

It bothers her, sometimes.

* * *

"Really? If you were having difficulties with Sakura-san, I would have expected it to be obvious," Mami tells Madoka. Madoka is at Mami's apartment, getting some study tips from her host. Homura is occupied in the kitchen, fixing the coffee machine. 

"Not exactly difficulties. But, well, do you remember when we were all here last week?"

"Certainly."

"Do you remember us even talking to each other?" Madoka asks. 

Mami frowns. "I guess not. Still, you won't talk to everyone in every conversation."

"See, but I did try to talk to her. I asked if she liked the movie she and Sayaka-chan saw on Sunday. But she answered with a noncommittal 'I guess' and asked Sayaka-chan for her opinion on a particular part."

"You've put an awful lot of thought into this," Mami comments. "A protective girlfriend of yours might get jealous."

"It's not like that!" Madoka insists. "I'm just worried that I did something wrong."

"I can assure you that you didn't do anything wrong. Sakura-san would have spoken up."

"But then why is she acting so odd?"

Mami shrugs. "I would assume that it is Sakura-san being herself. I tend to avoid digging too deep into these matters. Why haven't you asked Miki-san?"

Madoka laces her fingers together. "That would be kinda prying, wouldn't it? And it might force Sayaka-chan to choose between me and Kyouko-chan, which is the opposite of what I want. Hm, maybe I shouldn't be so curious about this."

"Avoiding a topic because it might cause two other people to fight sounds more like something Akemi-san would do," Mami teases. 

"I do think about the words I say, you know. What you tell someone can have a powerful effect on them." 

"I guess so. Still, if you can find a way to approach Miki-san about this, you should do so," Mami tells her. "It sounds like it's giving you a lot to think about." 

"Alright. I'll think about it." 

"Let's get back to your English, hmm? You're having enough trouble as it is." 

"You don't have to remind me," Madoka whines. 

* * *

"What did you and Tomoe-san talk about?" Homura asks as they walk home. 

"Um, nothing important."

"Okay."

Madoka can tell that Homura is curious, but she patiently waits for Madoka to end the silence.

"So Kyouko-chan has sort of been giving me the cold shoulder for a while and I asked Mami-senpai to confirm my suspicions and for advice and I didn't ask you because that would be prying since you have information that Kyouko-chan doesn't know about and this issue is minor enough that I don't need an overly convenient solution."

Madoka gives Homura some time to process her stream of conscious nonsense before she says anything else. Homura blinks and nods.

"I wouldn't be able to help you regardless," Homura says. 

"Huh?"

"I don't know what's motivating her recent behavior towards you. She's always seemed like she wants to be friends with you and in some timelines, she would. But she usually doesn't embrace the opportunity. I don't know why."

Madoka tilts her head. "None of that rebel girl connection helping you out?"

Homura sighs. "I usually know when Kyouko is lying, whether to herself or others. A much more difficult question is why. I understand her means, not her motives."

"That makes sense. Do you have any advice, for when I confront her about it?"

Homura puts a hand on her chin. "No. You know her as well as anyone. I trust your judgment."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't force her to stop eating while you're talking to her. She can pay attention fine."

"I know that, jeez."

"I said I didn't have anything to tell you," Homura tells her. 

"You're right. I'm just nervous about this," Madoka says, rubbing her fingers together. "What if she hates me?"

"Then she'll have to deal with me."

"Homura-chan..." Madoka says with a warning in her voice. 

"She'll get over even the most egregious insults," Homura redirects. "You should have heard what Miki-san has called her."

"I don't think I want to."

"You will be fine," Homura says with a sense of finality. Madoka wishes she was that confident about this. 

* * *

Sayaka opens the door to the apartment. "Oh hey, Madoka-chan. Kyouko told me you'd be showing up."

Madoka smiles. "Yeah, it's great to see you again. How have you been?"

"Awesome. Kyouko's getting better and better at making pancakes. Do you want to go to the park or something?"

"Actually, I'm here to talk to Kyouko-chan."

"Oh." Sayaka tilts her head. "Why?"

"Uh, private reasons? I don't want anyone to be mad."

"Alright, I guess. But if you make her upset I reserve the right to be mad on her behalf."

"You shouldn't have to worry about that," Madoka assures her. 

"Cool. She's in the bedroom."

Madoka walks through the apartment with caution. It isn't terribly messy, but it's worse than her own room and much worse than Homura's. The end table seems like it was positioned to trip people on purpose.

"Kyouko-chan? Are you in here?"

"Oh hey, pinkie,” Kyouko answers from her prone position in bed. “What brings you back here?"

Madoka swings the door shut behind her, prompting Kyouko to roll over in bed and look her in the face.

"What's with the serious look? Did I forget to pay Homura back or something?"

"Why do you always try to make our conversations about someone else?" Madoka asks with as much fire as she can muster. 

"I don't do that- often," Kyouko corrects. "Okay, maybe a little." 

"You always try to talk to other people when we're in a group. Did I say something wrong?" 

"Oh geez." Kyouko flips herself upright and walks towards Madoka. "It isn't anything you did, really." 

"Then why do you shy away from me? You don't tell the same kind of jokes or say the same kind of things to me." 

"Well, you know, I don't -" Kyouko frowns. "No, you know what? Fuck it. You of all people deserve to know. I avoid you because you're not a magical girl and I'm afraid I'll hurt you." 

"None of the others have that kind of problem," Madoka says, curious about what Kyouko has decided to reveal. 

"Yeah, but they aren't me. I didn't kill familiars for like a year. Because I didn't care about people like you. And I killed a lot of humans by doing that. Like a few hundred or so. I'm pretty sure I have the qualities to do that kind of thing, so I'm just, trying not to expose you to me. Sorry if it came off badly. "

Madoka takes a moment to think. She hadn't expected such a complex motive from Kyouko, who she had unfairly labeled as kind of dumb. Wanting to spare someone from herself; that certainly made for an unusual motive.

"I don't think that helps. We have to take the good with the bad in life," Madoka argues, "and I'm willing to accept what you've done for the person you are now."

"Even if you aren't just being polite-"

"I'm not!" Madoka interrupts "Why do you think I don't like you?"

"Because you shouldn't like me,” Kyouko admits. “I'm rude, gross, and callous. I eat like a pig and I don't take care of myself. I watched people like you die to appease my laziness. Why would you want to talk to me?"

"You're a person I want to be kind to. Because you are a person, and because you're friends with my friends. And because I like having someone willing to call out our nonsense and who has dealt with some rough times before."

"Even if you do want to befriend me, I'm still not sure it's a good idea. How am I going to try to treat you well, when six months ago I would have killed you to avoid an inconvenience?" Kyouko asks.

"Because you want to!” Madoka insists. “Someone who was going to trample over me wouldn't spend so much time worrying about it. You care about what happens to me, you said so yourself."

"And you trust that? From me?"

"I believe that people are fundamentally good. That maybe we get lost sometimes, but if we try to find our way back, the path is still there. Forgiveness is the easiest thing we can do."

Kyouko smiles. "I like the sound of that. I promise to treat you more fairly in the future. Do you want to try a double date at that new cat cafe?"

"Oh, we haven't tried that before. Aren't you worried Sayaka and Homura will spend the whole time sniping at each other?"

Kyouko shrugs. "If they do, you and I will have some time to talk."

"Oh yeah."

"Besides, I'm sure they'll be able to bond over cats," Kyouko jokes.

"You're probably right. Thanks for getting this all in the open. I know it can't have been easy for you."

"Hey, I like getting friends as much as the next girl. Don't be a stranger, alright?"

"Of course. I'm excited to get to know you for real this time!" Madoka cheers.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a nice little work to round out the year. Always thought these two would have interesting things to say to each other, but they only talk for a few seconds in canon. Hope you enjoyed!


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